Similarities fell into the areas of values, attitudes, personality traits, and interests. After the initial encounter and you’ve both decided to date, the ways you’re both diametrically opposed enhances the appeal of you two as a couple. In the beginning stages, the differences may still seem intriguing. That’s because differences haven’t proven to be obstacles in the relationship yet.
Relationship experts Candace R. Cooper MRC, LPCA and Kristen Rogers, M.A.,who practices at a community mental health agency in Texas,have some tips and advice on how to handle dating your politically opposite partner. It’s totally possible to date someone who doesn’t share your religion, especially if you and your partner aren’t super religious. But as Bergstein says, many of her clients won’t even go on a first date with someone who doesn’t practice their religion, as it would mean being with a person who doesn’t share their values. This can be a dealbreaker for some, so it’s important to discuss this early on.
If you’re silenced or traumatized, it’s time to seek therapy — or part ways
Most people like the same movies, tv shows, etc obviously with some variance here and there, but lots of overlap. Yeah I have, but none of that stuff is what got in the way. Sometimes it even helped me expand my tastes and insight https://datingrated.com/ into things I didn’t normally try or enjoy. I think focusing more on different values, morals and goals is where your eye needs to be at. The study consisted of timid, inhibited males who were alienated by strong critical females.
This can also become a problem if one partner’s sleeping habits affects the other’s. But if you have wildly different schedules, Smith says, it can create major roadblocks in a relationship. After all, you can’t really expect to get to know each other, much less stay connected, if you aren’t ever awake at the same time.
While many people tend to show off their best selves at the start of a relationship, it’s important to be your genuine self as time goes on. According to Elizabeth Overstreet, relationship expert and matchmaker, no one should have to alter who they are for someone else. If your partner isn’t comfortable owning up to who they truly are, your relationship might not last. If you could happily have sex all day long, while your partner could take it or leave it, you might not be right for each other, Smith says. Although incompatible sex drives aren’t an automatic dealbreaker, it also can become a relationship-ending issue down the road. In the worst case scenario, one partner feels frustrated and unfulfilled with their sex life, so they decide to look elsewhere.
For example, suppose one person in the relationship is ambitious and has certain life goals and the other person is free-spirited and doesn’t have the same values. In that case, the relationship likely won’t work in the long run. Recently, psychologists analyzed the combined results of over 240 studies in one. They, too, found that similar partnerships scored the highest.
In old romantic movies that we viewed, we might have seen the good girl attracted to the bad boy. Or we may have a friend, a shy, retiring sort, who is attracted to an outgoing and friendly person. Barbara is a writer and speaker who is passionate about mental health, overall wellness, and women’s issues.
Past findings linked the mismatch to poorer sexual and relationship outcomes. The age-old adage has always been to never discuss religion, money, or politics with folks. But these days, it seems impossible to escape that last topic; even if you don’t bring it up in polite company, it’s likely you’ll be forced to confront the views of friends, loved ones and even potential partners via social media. “If you have a deep, ingrained desire to have a family of your own, it’s a mistake to think this is something that will go away in your mind or heart,” Sophy Singer, a matchmaker at Tawkify tells Bustle. “Do not assume you can change your partner’s mind over time — especially if they clearly stated children are a no-go.” And the same is true if you’ve never really wanted kids, but your partner is all about it. “The chance of a relationship enduring between an emotive person and an apathetic person is slim,” Rémy Boyd, a matchmaker at Tawkify, tells Bustle.
I live in a country where political conservatism is not synonymous with sexism. Curious what country you are in where this is the case. He’s liberal on social issues, but listens to these conservative podcasts that say that liberals are destroying America.
The Pros of Dating Your Opposite
Are you someone who needs to be five minutes early, while your partner is someone who consistently runs an hour late? “As a matchmaker, I hear about this ending numerous relationships,” Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle. “People tend to think the other person is self-centered.” Even if this isn’t an issue that directly causes a relationship to end, it can contribute to it.
What About Couples With Mismatched Sex Drives?
“One person may be witty and sarcastic, while the other one appreciates silly things. The ability to laugh easily together is a huge part of compatibility.” If you can’t laugh together, it’s going to be tough for you two to overcome tough times together. That’s not to say it’s not worthwhile, but you can’t get complacent and just revert back to your natures. If you’re not willing to communicate well and if both sides aren’t willing to compromise, it just won’t work, no matter how many hobbies you have in common.
Recognize that you probably can’t change their mind
It’s all about balance, and finding someone who makes up for your deficits, and vice versa. “I have seen singles that begin a relationship with plenty of chemistry, but once they start uncovering their political beliefs, the relationship tends to fizzle,” Amie Leadingham, a master certified relationship coach, tells Bustle. For instance, if one of you is the type to yell and blow up, while the other shuts down, it’ll be hard to get to the root of any problem, Inayah Vanessa, a matchmaker at Tawkify, tells Bustle. Soon, arguments and hurt feelings will start to pile up, and you might decide it’s just easier to go your separate ways. Fighting in a relationship is inevitable, and even the most compatible couples have their share of issues. But couples who have different styles of arguing may have a tougher time overcoming issues than others.
To make this quick, I’m introverted, she’s extroverted. One bad thing about me is that I become a bore from my anxiety, meaning I just freeze up and can’t say anything. By analyzing the digital footprints people left on Facebook—their likes and what they posted about—evidence showed birds of a feather do flock together. Most people interact with others who are similar to them online. Opposites may attract at first because the other person seems new and exciting. Maybe the object of your attention is a medal-winning professional snowboarder and you are an accountant.
Scientific evidence has proven, however, that this is not true. For example, if a college student studies day and night in his room and is academically driven, we might set that person up with a more social student who goes out on weekends and gets less than stellar grades. But is there real psychology behind the popular phrase “opposites attract” in relationships? A myth has developed that like magnets, we are attracted to our polar opposites.